Not happy!! 2day is my last day in sem 5...2day juz ate 1 meal oni n i m going to lose my weight soon ..y? coz rush for my 2 reports lo...n so rush...but finally finished liao..not happy with some of my fren who always said one of the lecturer who always find me in the class if i left n absent for awhile loved me..y this people not think properly n juz create tis kind of crazy joke?i dun think tis is kidding lo..he wants to c me, not necessary he loved me ok?use ur brain la..somehow i was sad to be loved by him oso...u think tis is funny?i think this is crazy n makes no sense..n i think the lecturer know i trying to avoid him liao..n not much talk to me as before..duno he will fail me anot in the exam..sigh...i duno...really duno...n somehow..i duno wat n why the lecturer so concern bout melo..i dun like tat coz i no freedom at all..i quite disappointed with those ppl who said he loved me..i very hate to hear this words...n i duno i really hav a true n good fren anot..some ppl very selfish....may i was unlucky..who really really readily n treated me good..i will know..hopefully i can be more fortune in searching fren nex time...

juz wokeup...emm yesterday so tired..but is oklo...got to rush my works--report n medication reveiw..sigh..duno how to do le..suck!...later got cheerleading...i will go watchla..hehe..yo...i slp so long..but quite ok de now..listen to song...relax..

The Wind plays..Avalanched of leaves!Shuffling flooded rivers with brewed melancholy
and
The Moon plays..Hide and seek Above distant stained clouds that dances with no harmony
then
The Thunder plays..Dangle and dazzle!Roaring loudly, the Galloping echoes of ecstasy
as
The Rain plays..Parades of Splashes!Like a curtain, that envelops through eternity
so
When nature plays..Marvel and wonderIs it the work of God?or is it God itself.....

i juz bec from KFC...2day GOT discount!!! i got the offered card...tried the new EXTRA SPICY chicken..but not tat spicy osola...2day finally finished psd n settled ptptn loans ...not ned to fan it anymore..but 2moro stil got pbl..sigh..2day i at psd room measured my weight..yea..i gained 2 more kg liao..actly, b4 tat i underweightlo..so so so desired n wished to gain weight lo..but watever n however i ate tat many oso cant gainle..n mayb tat time i sicked oso, my weight dropped terribly ..now OSO underweight..but got gain bit bitla..oklo..haha...tis afternoon i had a short napla..but now tired de...i wonder y..is tat my weight gaining is bcoz of sleping alot?b frank, i slp quite alots lor..tis few days...haha.damn like pig...emm..the most important things is health la..undeniably, i slep quite manyla if compared to my abnormal life b4...i slp oni 2 to 3 hours perday b4 n damn crazy n siaolo...haha...sudden felt tat i very long time didnt do exercise liao..last time i evryday at least got 1 outdoor activity..now dun hav liao..busy n a word...lazylo...thinking of trying to make myself more energetic n active in future...

Waseh..2day is my 1st time got 5 meals in one day lo..breakfast, lunch, dinner, supper N extra SUPPER!!! omg..duno i can fat ma..everytime i ate so much but at last still the same..CAN'T FAT lor..haha..duno y..my digestive system too geng???or metabolism??n all meals are heavy heavy 1 lor..nvmla..i wont fat 1..then wat can eat then eatlo..haha..any comments or ways to recommend to me about how to gain weight ar? N 2day morning bout 10 am somethings..there was a handsome guy who aged 18 to 20...or "FLASHER" in the area around our university..u know...This happened when a gal walked through n on the way to uni, the guy who is in "kancil" car..purple color 1...asked the gal where is the bukit jalil through the window from the car??..n the gal answered him tat this place islor..n suddenly, very unexpected happening in front of the gal...u know wat? the gal found tat the guy is jerking off...n wear very short pant..then the gal scolded him n quickly ran away...n the news were spread around in our university..so, we muz be careful especially the gal la..be aware...for me, not need to worry la...;)

Finally 2day i finised my veterinary exam n report ..quite relax..2moro got psd n ned to prepare for my pbl n presentation for my wednesday..sigh..got works to do oso..sianz..emm..2day after finished the task, i n my fren went to midvalley juz lepak around lo.nothing to do..juz wan relax..eat..chat..decide wan to watch movie..but if watch, then will be very latelo..n nothing much can do..so not watch finally..my eyes very heavy now..i think i cant do works..so tired..i ned a nice slep..a nice bath..n a rest.....too tired...exhausted...2moro muz jia youlo..;)

2day same same ...study for my vet exam..very hate le...so many..they think i m god meh...n 2day very peace..nothing much happen..juz at home...eat, slep and study..watch tv...gotla..a while oni..listen to song..dancing...while studying..haha..damn crazy rite?but only way to make me stil awake..n wont slp..nex week the last week of my school day..then finis 1 sem de..actly, cant said finis..juz finis normal day..then got industry replacement n study break..ned bec for exam oso...n got reportle..never end..but hope all can be done smoothly..2moro 6pm i will bec kl by bus..leave my lovely bed le..duno y..everytime i bec home..felt tat so comfortable..expecially in this time 2.40am...so peace..so silent..a good time for me to dream.. to think...to study..to do watever..juz in peace..in a very stable mood..home sweet home...or maybe here near to nature..far away from rush..no stress at all for me..juz relax...inhale ..exhale..inhale..

Izit money is more than a relationship?sometime got ppl even relatives in conflict juz bcoz of money..y they cant give a died person a peace?juz a peace??sometime i really duno wat they wanted?juz for money?mayb this is not my matter..but seem the died person treated me so good b4 she went away from my life...sigh..i very disppointed coz i cant do any for her..coz i wont be able..to settle this big family issues..i not adult?no...then wat is the reason?mayb i not tat old as them...they want to stop the relationshipwo...this words they can said out..imagine...i juz can silent n let the whole things occurs...i duno wat will happen later...n i too young to know their adult things..nothing i can do....meawhile,i rushed for my veterinary report n exam tis few days lo..sigh...i hate do reportlo..but ned pass up oso...so hav to do..2day juz same as previous...eat, slep, study, do report...n got 1 extra thing la..watch tv..haha..long time didnt watch...2day got one in the million which is a singing competition in malaysia..yea...suki who is the only chinese among 3 last ppls won..yup...she got 1 million..if for me, i will very happylo n can do many things that i want...so envy...now 1am liao..duno when i will slep...i will still online..tis is one of the way for me to relax ba...

Later bec hometown..2day weather bit cloudy..can said good for journey or bad for journey..quite sianz...got works n many to study as usual..but 2day i think i m gota to relax myself..i cant c where the sun now..above the cloud?..feeling somethings strange 2day..duno how explain..

2day so early wokeup n went for pbl (problem based learning)..as usual, group discussion and 2day topic is infertility in male n female..i hate to wake up so early actly n in rush ...coz dunolo..slep late...sigh..luckily not late la..coz facilitator oso late..haha..then i not late..emm...then eat breakfast after tat..then went for classtest feedback n discussion bout the management with my group members...n then in rush oso...went to visit another veterinary or can said food production industry..all in rush..n my lunch was do fu hua only lor..sigh...tis visit was nice with 2 hours of lecture..N ...2 mineral waters ...n went for a visit only lo..in other word...nothing special sianz..the journey went there consumed 1 hours..imagine..but we went by the bus provided by the university la..if not, gota tired bcoz of the journeylo..i slept in bus la...then when reached there, quite blur blur..May be not enough slep ba..haha..then eat my dinner, chat with my housemate, watch tv...think of going out jogging with them..but seem like i so lazy...not follow lo..later mayb i will stat c my vet report..coz nex week hav to pas up...not stat yet..n hav to revise the examla...but can said bit relax coz stil got time..then relax bitlo..if not, i will ki siao le..haha...sunset now..

Yesterday have a sound sleep..mayb too tired coz too many things to do till i not enough slep..if compare to last time, i think tis time i slep more ..but can said not more oso..coz quite normal ba..or in other word, bec to normal liao..las time can said abnormal..duno..i think my biological clock got something wrong..haha..dependlo..sometime i normal sometime abnormal..2day as usual ..eat, do works..n rush my management..yea..i think i can or shld finis by 2day liao..tis week seem quite free to me...although got many things to do..yea..my sem is going to end soon..juz tat after tis is my study break...n industry replacement...n exam...hopefully this time i got holiday la...hehe..hope so...if can, everyday is my holiday...i want to be myself...dun wan to become casper...u may know or duno..nitezz..hope 2moro my another lucky n meaningful day...gambateh...

No mountains too high for you to climb..All you have to do is have some climbing faith, oh yeah...No rivers too wide for you to make it across...All you have to do is believe it when you pray...And then you will see the morning will come...And everyday will be bright as the sun...All of your fears cast them on me...I just want you to see...I'll be your cloud up in the sky...I'll be your shoulder when you cry...I'll hear your voices when you call me...I am your angel...And when all hope is gone, I'm near...No matter how far you are, I'm near...It makes no difference who you are...I am your angel..I am your angel..I saw your teardrops, and I heard you cry...All you need is time...Seek me and you shall find...You have everything and your still lonely...It don't have to be this way...Let me show you a better day...And then you will see...The morning will come...And all of your days will be bright as the sun...So all of your fears...Just cast them on me...How can I make you see...I'll be your cloud up in the sky...I'll be your shoulder when you cry...I'll hear your voices when you call me...I am your angel...And when all hope is gone, I'm near...No matter how far you are, I'm near...It makes no difference who you are...I am your angel...I am your angel...And when its time to face the storm...I'll be right by your side...Grace will keep us safe and warm...And I know we will survive...And when it seems as if...Your end is drawing near..Don't you dare give up the fight...Put your trust beyond the skys...I'll be your cloud up in the sky...I'll be your shoulder when you cry...I'll hear your voices when you call me...I am your angel...And when all hope is gone, I'm near...No matter how far you are, I'm near...It makes no difference who you are...I am your angel...I am your angel...i wish to be ur angel...

My life...My lust for life...it stimulates...The feelings of love...it radiates...My zest for life...is unrestricted...Has no belief...in the predicted...My thirst for life...is only quenched...By my emersion...to remain entrenched..My pursuit of life...defies limitation...Dreams of belonging...and not isolation...My fear of life...at times immeasurable...The courage to conquer...is truly pleasurable...My strength in life...is appreciation...I do not stumble...on expectation...My faith in life...comes from believing...Rewards come from giving...and not in receiving...My goal in life...is to be realistic...Helplessly and hopefully...stay optimistic...My aspirations in life...to touch the unreachable...Humbly remain...the proud but the teachable...To do it well...and to do it true..Is all God ever asks of you...

Finally 2day finished my management class test..n oso psd- oral contraceptive, sleeping pill, novolet, novopen...emm...ok ok la..juz tat wont be as pecfectly as i think la...some ppl said i good in short term memorywo..but i dun think lo..wat i think is i getting older n older..as time goes by, i think my memory became lauzy liaole..of coz i ned to remember as hardly as i can lo ..if not, i will fail ar...write one le...but not all i can remember oso lo..coz why?coz i am also a man, a human...after exam, went for psd session...which is counseling the simulated patients...initially, very jing zang lo coz i duno wat i shld prepare n mani i duno..so like go inside without preparation..then after tat, ok de..after i know wat are going to be asked briefly la..duno y i always scared psd lo..haha..mayb my communication skill not good n if i not prepare, i will panic easily le..n juz huh here n there..so cha sui lo..but i tried to improvela..ned time..then after tat, i n fren went for dinner in kuchai lama..i ate prawn mee n found tat not tat nice as i think...but can filled my hungry stomachla..n my frens they juz stayed there for juz a while..but not long since one of it ned to rush bec to rush selective projects...me toolor..duno y so many things to dolo..sianz..y cant stop one???i think only will stop after i graduated...later night they will go for basketball final competition...i duno i wan go anot..coz too tired..n stil got many things to settle..management projects...veterinary report...veterinary exam...oh...suck!duno wat time will slep..hope can slep early but muz after finis the tasks tat i think shld finis by 2day...

so many..cant finis lo..think tat 2moro oso hard for me to finis oso..sianz.now 3 am liao..duno how..how?????seilo..study oso forgot..too old liao ar..sigh..2moro ned to try study as much as possible lo..if cant finis, i oso cant do any..juz try my best..i so tired wan slep liao..zzz...

i felt very frustrated bout study..some ppl said study is more relax n better than work..but i felt like i veri bored in studying this course...i no direction..evritime study like juz memorizing..study n study..juz to get a degree?so lifeless like tat..n evritime wat i scared is fail lo..i dun want to fail again!!! although i not really fail la..if i failed, i wont be able stil in this course now...sigh..wat to do? is life lo..i want relax after my exam..coz i really cant relax during exam..still alot things not study lo..sigh again...suck...

Sometime we ned to be aware of ppl bside us..i duno whether i know the true fren anot..shall we juz play around n juz kidding around?but react behind in different way?by saying another way in front of ppl..ask themselves whether they pretend to do tat? N ask urself..do u try to do tat?Is this a trend nowadays to prevent ppl to take advantages on u?i dun like tis kind of real fren..i c ...i felt...i can sense...even they dun believed..is ok..nvm..but wat i hope is they realised wat they did..n never regret with their reactions..i cant comment too much coz i oso same as them...i had to do tat coz i oso duno who is the true n real n the most important is which ppl is good to u...i was forced to do tat in other words..actly, i dun wan to do so many of this kind things..i wan peace...but no..the reality is cruel..is not tat realistic..many ppl wear mask in front of u..be careful..to conclude, i not the real of me...only i n myself n the only true fren will know the real of me...

My soul drifts aimlessly in times of hopelessness.It searches tirelessly for meaning and truth ...Yet finds no direction.My heart bleeds quietly in times of loneliness.It yearns to find warmth and happiness ...Yet it somehow eludes me.My eyes seek out visions in times of want.They gaze endlessly through the blackness that envelops them ...Yet they cannot see the light.My ears listen earnestly in times of silence.They search for familiar sounds to comfort and console ...Yet they cannot penetrate the darkness that surrounds me.My arms reach out frantically in times of despair.They seek strength and compassion to enfold me ...Yet they find nothing substantial to enwrap.My mind cries out desperately in times of solitude.It poses intense questions that demand answers ...Yet there are none to be found.My hand reaches out earnestly in these times of confusion.It dials the number of a familiar and calming voice ...And gratefully, my lifeline to sanity ... remains intact.

Simply makes perfect?i found out tat blogging in this way easier for me to update more frequently n not ned so waste time...Today is friday.The end of weekday on this week. next monday exam..sigh ..another task to be completed..2day got 2 of my frens had their car brokedown on the road..so unluckily..n one of it made another ppl until he cant slep..ho?...haha..but is ok la..at least u tried to help..although u became the innocent one..but someday she will knowle ur kindness hopefully...zu ren wei kuai le zi ben rite?dun slep for few hours nia..And i went to leo's cafe to eat my dinner with them lo..from there, i know this..emm..2day raining..we decided go pasarmlm but bcoz rain lo..sui ka be si..i cant change the lawzy dvd...ned to wait for another weeklo..n cant eat my favourite foods..There is a question here for 2day..and the question is whether it is legal for buddist ppl to consume bovine capsule?how about if this is for supplement?for own benefit?...i stil no idea bout it...although we cant get wat we want, but as long as we do our best is enough de..i believe that if this is urs, is urs...if not, then is not..so abstract ..but is ok..

Wake up: about 6am
Sleep : about 1am ..i think so...