My life...

Monday, October 23, 2006

when you loose someone....
when you loose someone important to you, it hurts and you think that there is nothing in the world that can cause you this much pain ever again. You think that your life has come to an end, that its never going to be the same again. and you are right... its the harsh reality. Your life will never be the same again. You will loose that person forever... you will never be able to touch or hold them close to you again, at this point in life you will regret, you'll regret every single time you chose not to spend time with that special person because you were tired, or wanted to do somethign else. You will even regret not getting that glass of water for them. You will regret not staying in for dinner, you will regret not eating that home cooked meal, and instead having maccas. You'll also regret not reminding that person to take medicine when they are sick, and you will mostly regret that you put yourself first over that person. The person loved you and gave life to you, you may have been a good daughter, or maybe you were a good son. But you still regret because there were so many things that you wanted to do, but didnt get around to doing. Our chances have passed now, we must accept our fate. We shed tears, to ease our pain, we deny reality, because it makes life bearable. till this day i still dont know how to deal with the loss of a loved one.... i wish i could comfort you, and take away all the pain that you feel, i wish i could whisper into your ears, the secret of how to bear this pain, but the truth is i dont know how. I am still dealing with my own pain, and all i can offer to you is a shoulder for you to cry on, a hand for you to hold, and a ear to listen, to listen closely as each one of your tears fall. Dont try fear being judged in your time of pain, mourn your loved one so that they will know that they have made a impact in your life, cry the tears, every last one that you will ever have. For your loved one has earned your respect and should be given every last bit.
dont be afraid to cry, dont be afraid to hate, dont be afraid to blame, they will all help you to ease the pain, they will all help you to feel better. But yoru loved one has gone somwhere better, they have passed on to a greater place, This may seem as thought they have left you behind, but think about it, they will never have left you if they had a choice. It loved you, because it gave you flesh, and bones and breath. It fed you and clothed you, it educated you and disciplined you, everything that you have and have become belongs to it, it is for this reason, its spirit will never die, and will be ingrained in you, for as long as you wish it to be. It lives inside of you. When you place your hand on your chest, and breath in, you will feel it breathing with you.
It will always be with you.
A family friend once told me, there is nothing left of the person you love.... all that remain are the things that it loved and the things that it had. go and find those things, and keep a piece that means somethign to you, and hold on to it. treasure it. because as years go on, and seasons change, your memories will fade, and you will slowly start to forget wat it looks like. but if you keep something of it close to you, it will help you to remeber and to always have a piece of it with you.
so find something, something that was special to it, and special to you, and keep it safe, so that you will always have a piece of him with you. So that you will never feel alone, no matter where you are, or who you are with.
Be strong, my friend, for yourself, for your family, for your mother, and for you friends.
we will always be here for you.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

i in study break now...juz studying onlylo...yea..i m fine ...recover bit bit liao..juz tat my throat stil pain... sigh..ned drink more "liang cha"..i wasted 1 week juz for my sicknesslo..doc said mayb the fish bone i ingested half way...so cant c any oso..but i really felt got something lo..but now ..dun hav de..juz pain..need stat study lo..i scared cant finis..quite hard tis time..i dun wan fail ar...i at home now..home sweet home..nothing to worry about..juz eat, enjoy,slp...lazy rite?but boring during tis festival lo..coz not out..my fren all very busy bout examlo..yea..actly, this time many ppl examle..december more relax..to all my fren, good luck in ur exam..n for u, thanks alot for concerning me..so happy to know u le..u know who i meant..hope i will get well soon..=)study study studylo..i hate study!

Friday, October 13, 2006

finally finished my attachment...n i got my paid- rm 230+++ juz for 2 weeks..actly for other ppl n not same place..no money given le..but for us in this place got wo..ye..can use it for somethings...after bec from tat, juz went for a nap on my table..then wokeup bath..then about 11pm, out to midvalley for movie- ghost games from thailand..emm..not badla..but wont tat so scary..but oklo..not bad..emm..after finised watching, it was about 2 pm, then i n my fren out yumcha...so hungry..so eat something lo..now juz bec..emm..later i muz hav a nice slp ..2moro i will try to finis my report coz sunday wan out again...kai kai n eat n playlo..yea..so long time didnt so relax liaoo...not bad..juz tat MONEY is the limited factor..if not, i will be more kai xin ler..cheers my fren...hope u all can study hard ..as for me too, wish i can study lo..after playing n enjoying for this few days...going to slp soon..juz wan online for a while ;)

Thursday, October 12, 2006

2day bec from placement..2moro last day..2day go cut hair n ate teepayaki- tempura for my dinner..so fast..going to finis the attachment..then i may bec hometown..then study for my exam lo..sigh..ned study again..will less online liao lo..

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

yesterday went to 1 utama watched the banquent..emm..for me, is ok ok nia..if for other ppl, may fall aslep ba..but then the way of killing ppl quite nicela n unexpected...n oso juz walked around..then bec near 1am...nothing to purchase oso...then after tat, online, chat, bath...coz 2moro no attachment..then is nice lo..but the wireless is terrible...off n on n off..very terukla..2day i slp till 4pm..omg..another day gone..i found today weather better if compare last time..not tat worse la..n out eat..then juz bec..i heard 2day in front of our vista C apartment..got 2 more cases of flashers..omg..so 'GOOD'! duno who got chance to enjoy or c the 'BIRDY VIEW' ..haha..i think they shld take down the photo lo..but this time is malay not chinese like b4...haha...emm..think of going to swim later..but quite lazy oso..c how ba..2moro got attachment..sianz..another nearly working day it seem to be..i m still studying now le..bubu.. many things i tot not tat i tot..n many thing i not tot shld be tot...

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Starbucks brings ecstasy of pleasure,
A feeling so divine that cannot be measured.
Leaving me breathless,
a feeling of alleviation,
Walking in Starbucks I feel a sense of dedication.
Inhaling the scent of eternal bliss,
I reach out to the gentle cups,
giving them a kiss.
Joyful tasting, pleasure me entirely;
bursting with vivacity,
This love, this place is full of mystery.
My dear Starbucks,
we gather you to praise,
How happy you make us and brighten our days.
Such a beautiful taste, a delicious scent dragging me in,
It must be heaven sent, nothing close to a sin.
Twenty-thousand words may display,
My love for this drink - it is my final way;
Share with me your desire of affection,
Showing me of your love and dedication.

yesterday went for movie- JAckie chan n ku tian le act 1...n a cute cute baby..u know wat movie i meant..quite funny n nice..not bad for watching it..then went for shopping or window shopping coz i not brought any..juz my fren them only..till night oni bec...ate japanese set meal..then bec at night..but tired de..then had a nap..then play dota..then slep till NOW!!! 5pm...omg...so long i slep..the reason is i tired n less slp for the whole week n now "reGAIN" it bec?yea..i slep everyday 2 hours plus plus...i skipped my breakfast n lunch le...i m gonna to lose my weight again..sianz..2moro got attachment ..had to wake up at 6am...oh...another suffering attachment..juz few days more..then finished liao..emm.later may out to eat la..then bec i think i will play dota...now kl condition still hazy...the air not tat freshlo...out oso difficult...esp outdoor activity...but not included indoor activity like shopping la..i cant c sun n moon oso..;(... n i at 24th floor..u imaginela..how worst the circumstances..haha...cheers

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Long time didn’t online. Coz I cant online..the wireless here damn lauzy..i shared wit the down floor ppl..tat’s wise like tat lo..sigh..n they not there at this time..remember?got attachement..be frank, I was tired n exhausted everyday after attachment..n everyday had to wake up at 6 something..omg..i think I need to slep lot during weekend. Stil got 1 week attachment then study break de…I hate study oso..wat to do le..i felt tat I quite rush for every morning coz I nearly late ..n we needed bout half hours to reach therelo..old liao..i found tat my white hair increased day by day..weather of this few days not good in this few days…u know y?actly I duno oso..juz tat very hazy..the polluted air ba…if can, dun outlo..hmm..any ar…emm..is like so so ba..i watched animation tis few days la..-full metal alchemist which I borrowed from my fren..i not watched b4 lo..emm..quite nice..not bad…tis few days attachment juz like help them to do things lo..coz I at regulatory part ..so more more sianz…n I felt tat how the working’s life is..need more responsibility…n there is no ending…non-stop..bubu..where is my day? n there still got a place for me?actly, for me juz simple..i am a very simple guy..if u happy, I will be happier..i quite tired..my eye so heavy..cant tahan liao..okla..hope I can blog more often..very sianz n boring to read my blog oso rite?..everyday is the same..life is like tat lo..sometime I felt very boring aso..ok..sayonara..haha..gambateh!